We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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