I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
