I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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