i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
