Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
