Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
