Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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