Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
