I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
