Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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