Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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