so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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