just come out here and I will go home with you...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
