i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
