well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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