you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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