I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
