Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
