You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
