Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
