How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
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I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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