i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
