I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
