he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
