but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
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