I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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