I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
