No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
