Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
