its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
