I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
my liver is dry heaving
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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