he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
