Pregnant stripper...not hot.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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