try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
