I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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