I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
a search helicopter?!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's not a walk of shame if you run
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
