Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize