those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
