Jerry, you need to find god
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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