OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
