i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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