Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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