Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
