p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize