so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
