So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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