She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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