I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
