Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
