Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
