It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize