im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
