I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
