I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
