Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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