Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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